Five of the Craziest Weapons You (Probably) Never Heard of

The old saying goes "War is Hell." What they left out was that it can be totally INSANE when it comes to one nations desire to turn an opposing nation into a smoking crater of glass magma rock ash dust. This entry will delve into five of the craziest weapon designs of World War II.  There are obviously many more, but I will touch on a few from a few different nations, ranging from giant land cruisers, to aircraft carriers made of ice, all the way to flaming death bats. Get ready for some madness!


Weapon #1:  The Landkreuzer P. 1500 Monster

                Hitler liked to super size his stuff more than an American at McDonalds.            Link

Country of Design/Origin: Nazi Germany


The Landkreuzer P. 1500 was just one of many designed super-heavy tanks. During the war, Hitler was obsessed with making bigger tanks with larger cannons. Two of his biggest weapons, the rail mounted guns Schwerer Gustav and Dora. These massive guns could be moved (semi) quickly via Germany's railways systems, and could deliver a powerful punch.

                                          "It needs more guns! And swastikas! A lot more swastikas"                                                 Link

Hitler was not satisfied with this limited capability, however, and demanded some super-heavy tanks to be made that could pack as much punch as his railway guns, but with the maneuvering capabilities of land vehicles. The Landkreuzer P 1500 Monster and the Landkreuzer P 1000 Ratte (Yes, Hitler liked his ironic names) were two designs for massive mobile artillary units that were large enough to house not only the artillery, but also a squad of troops as well as it's own anti-aircraft weapons mounted on the hull. These machines were meant to strike fear into the enemy and destroy anything in their way.

                                     The "Ratte".                    Link

The shell in the foreground is what was fired by the Nazi railway guns, and what would have been used by the Landkreuzer class weapons. In the back is a T-34 tank, which was a medium armor vehicle used by the Russians.     Link

The Problem: Besides the fact that these vehicles barely got through the prototype stage (building one entirely would have cost massive amounts of money) two other major issues stopped the Landkreuzer from being a feasible combat vehicle. Firstly, the freaking thing is HUGE. It would destroy any roads it went over, including the Autobahn, which the Germans used to move quickly through Germany, as well as any bridges it came across. It could have possibly forded some rivers, but that risked flooding the engines. The other major issue is the fact that from the sky, you cold not miss the Landkreuzer. You could attempt to camouflage it with a giant, grass colored bedsheet, or build a house around it or something crazy, but aside from that, allied bombers would have had an easy time wiping the Landkreuzer off the map wit ha well placed payload. In the end, the Landkreuzer proved to not be feasible enough to do what Hitler wanted, and the plan was scrapped.

"At least I have mein watermelon!"       Link

Weapon #2:Project Habakkuk (AKA The Aircraft Carrier Made of Ice)

The Habakkuk was the one in the middle. Now picture it made out of mostly ice and sawdust. Yeah, this plan didn't get very far.     Link

Country of Design/ Origin: Great Britain

Project Habakkuk was the brainchild of Geoffrey Pyke, an inventor who worked for the allies during World War II. His idea came from the constant loss of British ships due to German U-boat operations, as well as the deteriorating amount of steel that Britain had for the war effort. Pykes idea was to make a huge aircraft carrier, capable of carrying hundreds of planes, employing over 3,000 personnel, and able to repair itself from attacks while still at sea (unlike regular ships, which had to go to land, get berthed, and then get repairs done, which took months, if not more). The ship would be made mostly of Pykrete,a substance that was mostly water, with some wood pulp mixed in. The idea excited many at first, as they saw it as a possibly cheap alternative to regular ship building and could possibly be repaired while at sea.

 The Problem: However, after a 60 foot replica was built to test the theory, it became clear that many issues, such as the need for some sort of steel infrastructure, as well as a temperature duct system and other such problems made sure the Habakkuk would not be ready to go by the planned date in 1944. As it became clearer that the war was turning tides against the Nazis, the British discarded the project, deciding to focus on more ideal endeavors instead.

             It was a lot better on the drawing board...             Link

Weapon #3:  The Yokosuka MCY7 Ohka (AKA The Suicide Plane)

Known as the "Cherry Blossom", I would suggest something more fitting, like The Flying Tampon.    Link

Country of Origin/Design: The Empire of Japan

 It is well known that during the final years of WW2, Japan was doing whatever it could to slow the U.S. naval forces pushing their way into Japanese territorial waters. They even resorted to Kamikaze tactics, which involved the pilot flying their plane into an enemy ship in an attempt to cause as much damage as possible. The Ohka is the final evolution of this idea. The design was rather simple. The Ohka would be mounted to the bottom of an attack plane, such as a Mitsubishi G4M, and when the plane got close to a target, it would release the Okha, which would glide towards its target, until the pilot inside would set off one (or all) of three rocket fuel motors. This would cause a huge boost of speed, making it impossible to shoot down. The Okha would hit tis target, exploding in massive fireball and dealing tons of damage. Basically, a bomb with wings.

This, but, you know, with wings and flowers on it.               Link

The Problem:  While Ohkas were used in a successful manner by the Japanese, the major issue that occurred is that, towards the end of the war, there were fewer and fewer Japanese who were alive who were able to fly the planes with such precision, and they basically were killing themselves off, limiting their effectiveness. Another issue was that when the American forces learned of what the Japanese were doing, they started intercepting the bombers far from their intended targets, which caused the bombers to panic and they would be forced to jettison the Ohka bombers (and their sacrificial pilot) up to seventy miles away from any targets. This led to many Ohka pilots dying for basically no reason at all. Many of these craft were saved for what was seen for the incoming invasion of Japan, but once the nuclear bombs were dropped and Japan surrendered, the remaining ones were never used. One can only wonder what they built with the spare scrap...

                                                           Oh...Crap                                               Link

Weapon #4: Incendiary Bat Bombs

While they may not be as cool as this...

           This is actually just Adam West on a normal Friday night.        Link  

Bat Bombs were still a pretty ingenious way of fighting Japan.

           This would definitely be used by the villains in an episode of Captain Planet.        Link

Country of Origin/Design: The United States of America

The idea of using bats as living weapons came from, oddly enough, a dentist named Lytle S. Adams, who had seen the flocking and roosting activity of bats and thought of a way to use it against the Japanese. The Japanese had many buildings made out of flammable ingredients such as paper, bamboo, and other material. The plan was to put a number of bats into a bomb shaped cannister (these bats would be knocked out before and during the flight). They would have small incendiary devices attached to their legs, which had timers on them. A bomber would then drop the cannister over the designated area, the cannister would open at a specific altitude, the bats would emerge and begin to roost in the nearby buildings. Minutes to hours after they roosted, the bats would explode in bursts of fire, which in turn would set the adjacent building on fire. Basically, suicide fire bat exploding extravaganza was the name of the plan.

A photo of the buildings where they held the experiments with the bats. It became very clear the devastating effect they could have.    Link

"The Americans have EXPLODING BATS..  Game OVER, man!"   Link

The Problem: There was no problem. The only reason the United States quit working with the bats was because it had come to groundbreaking research on the Atomic bomb, and therefor made the use of bats not necessary. Lucky for the bats, not so lucky for Japan.




Weapon #5: Anti-Tank Dogs

PETA isn't going to like this...but then again, Stalin didn't care about any of that, now did he?    Link

Country of Origin/Design: The Soviet Union

Bomb dogs were used by the U.S.S.R during World War II to take out enemy tanks. The dogs were trained to search for food under tanks and other vehicles, and then starved for days, strapped with explosives and sent out onto the battlefield. Though the explosion killed the dog in the process, the Soviet military states that it immobilized up to 300 German tanks, thereby making the animal sacrifice worth the cost. The dogs were effective because they were usually so small and quick, that they could get underneath a tank before the crew knew what had happened.

                                   They have their own freakin' board game action figures.                        Link

The Russian military continued using exploding dogs in their military arsenal up until 1996. I'm pretty sure after that, Michael Vick got wind of it and adopted all the dogs he could.

                                                  Pretty appropriate for Hump Day, I think.                                   Link

The Problem: There was really no downside to this use of dogs as a weapon, aside from possible outrage by certain people. In the end, it was a successful tactic that worked well in combat, sadly, at the cost of the life of animals.

                                        Here's a cute puppy licking a lime to make you feel better.                                        Link

So there we have it. 5 of the oddest weapons you may or may not have heard of! I will return next week with more historical shenanigans! If you have any topic in particular you would like me to write about, leave a comment! I can always use ideas! Until next time!

B-B-B-BONUS ROUND! (The Great Potato Famine)

What's that? BONUS ROUND? That's right! A BONUS episode of Educating While Entertaining? Here? Now? Can your mind handle it!?

                     It's like a brain freeze, but from KNOWLEDGE!                   Link

Today, the topic I focus on will be what is known to most of the United States and other regions outside of Ireland as the Great Potato Famine. However, within Ireland, it is simply known as the great famine. That's right, I'm writing about potatoes. And it is going to blow your mind.

                                              Samwise, Middle Earths potato champion.                                                 Link

The Great Famine is a period in Ireland lasting between 1845 and 1852. This famine led to sickness, death, and caused mass emigration from Ireland. By the end, over one million Irish would be dead, another one million emigrating to anywhere else they could go. This cut  Ireland's population by 20% to 25%.  The effects this famine would have would be massive. It would effect Ireland's view on its relationship with Great Britain (who basically had control over Ireland at the time), as well as hurt Ireland's religious relationship with that of the British Crown. (Ireland was heavily Catholic, while England was not). The famine had such an impact that most historians divide Irish history into pre-famine and post-famine history. The question remains, however....how did it start?

              Historically accurate photo of an Irishman searching for potatoes.        Link

For starters, one of the major issues was that many Irish families had grown dependent on the potato for food. Where once dairy and grain had been a staple of diets, the potato now held total control.
1/3 of the Irish population was dependent on the potato for food. The main problem was a disease that affected the potatoes called potato blight. This disease made the potatoes inedible and destroyed many crops. Had there been different kinds of potato crops, the disease may not have been so prominent and problematic, but the Irish grew only one kind of potato, the Irish Lumper. The potato blight would take healthy potatoes such as this:

                Healthy potatoes. Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew.            Link

and turn them into this:

          Basically the Syphilis of the potato world. Enjoy your french fries.        Link

However, potato blight was not the only problem.Almost 3/4 of Ireland's population was unemployed, there was already with a semi-starving population, and combined with a rapidly growing population, the British governments lack of smart government basically set Ireland up for disaster. One rule had been that Irish Catholics could not do a number of things, such as getting an education, own or lease land, or even holding a profession. This law was repealed by 1793, but its legacy had a lasting impact on the population. That's right, by merely being Catholic, your life was basically assured to suck because Protestant England had issues with Catholics. (Such an issue between Protestants and Catholics is also seen through the lens of antebellum America in the film Gangs of New York). This would lead to another large issue: the issue of land ownership.

                                "This has nothing to do with potatoes! Rabble rabble rabble!"                   Link

See, the problem with land ownership in Ireland was that the rich landowners would have tenets who lived on the land and earned their stay by growing crops or doing other things for the landowner. Problem was, Ireland's Catholic population was 80% of Ireland's total population, the remaining 20% being from England, or Protestant. Guess who controlled all the land? The protestants. The set up was the landlords would collect payment, send directives through groups of middlemen (this was known as the middleman system, yes, very creative, right?)Some of the landlords didn't even live in Ireland! These "absentee landlords" just chilled in England, letting the middlemen take care of business. The middlemen would also buy up some of the landlords land, then rent it out for even higher prices to the tenents, who, having nowhere else to go, had little choice but to oblige the raise in living costs (if they could afford it) The middlemen were basically the rich, snooty Monopoly guy of their times.

"You owe me Boardwalk levels of money for living on Baltic Avenue! Deal with it!" Link

The system itself was rough. The only crop tenets could grow in enough quantity to feed their families was t he potato, and due to lack of land size, most could not start ranches to get cattle. The middleman system was also rough, as it allowed tenants to be abused. Tenants could be evicted from their land for a variety of reasons, such as not paying their rent (which was very high), or if the landlord decided to use the land for raising sheep instead of growing crops. A major issue was that any improvements made to the housing/land became property of the landlord, and the fact that the tenants could be removed from their property "at will" caused many to not even try to improve the land they lived on, fearing that they would lose everything and their work would be for nothing. It wasn't until after the famine killed tons of people, of course, that the English government made the act of middlemen buying landholdings and selling them at exorbitant prices to tenants illegal.

          A modern look at how Ireland wanted to deal with the Middleman System  Alllrighty then!     Link

Now, onto the potato itself. Prior to the 18th century, potatoes were only a supplementary food, as many Irish still ate dairy, grains, etc that they grew. In the beginning decades of the 1800s, however, it became a base food of the poor, especially in the winter months. As time went on and more Irish farmers made the potato a major staple of their diet, they were setting themselves up for problems. The potato that most of them ate, as stated before, was the Irish Lumper. The fact that this was one of the only potatoes that the Irish ate was bad, as the lack of genetic variability allowed the entire Lumper crop to become infected with Phytoptora infestans, which basically rotted the potatoes from the inside out. That's right. You learned about potato genetics. Just now.

                                   Random Fact: This guy was also in Gangs of New York.   Proof                                               Link

As the potato blight spread across Europe and eventually hit Ireland, the Irish were not unaware of the predicament that the disease would bring them. They asked English politicians for alternate ways of getting food, such as bringing in corn, but the English believed that the Irish were overreacting, and that it wouldn't be that bad.  Sir Charles Trevelyan, who was in charge of Government relief to the victims of the Irish famine actually limited relief, because, as he put it, "the judgment of God sent the calamity to teach the Irish a lesson."  This obviously pissed off a lot of Irish people, and even inspired a song. (Version by Dropkick Murphys here). Other nations actually attempted to help the Irish. The Ottoman SUltan sent money, as well as three ships worth of food. The English attempted to block the ships, but they were able to sneak into Ireland and deliver their aid. Even native Americans such as the Choctaws sent aid, having experienced starvation on the Trail of Tears. They sent money to try and help the starving families of Ireland. While the famine went on, many families could not pay their rent, so the landlords had them evicted, leading to many Irish with no homes or land to go to. This in turn led to a large emigration of Irish. Irish emigration wasn't new, but the famine led to a huge wave of Irish to leave the country. Sadly, the mortality on the ships leaving the country was very high, causing the ships to be called coffin ships. Overall, this was not a good time to be Irish.

                                                               Memorial of the famine in Dublin.                                                                        Link

 The famine would have lasting effects between both the Irish and English governments, as well as the population of Ireland, which took a long time to get back to where it had once been. Famine, mixed with diseased and emigration had reduced Ireland's population dramatically. Oddly enough, the potato remained a staple of Irish diets even after the famine occurred. By the end of the 19th century, the Irish per capita consumption of four pounds per day was the highest in the world.

Saw his whole family eaten. Guy's got some issues.            Link

Thus ends another journey through a moment in history! I hope you all enjoyed learning (even if half of it was about potato genetics).

I should have another article up in a few days, but for now, enjoy your potatoes.

        Baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes, potato chips, potato pancakes, stuffed potatoes.....                  Link

Until next time!

I'm Back! (A.K.A. The Story of "Best Korea")

           

Well, I'm back! After 2 years, I return once more to educate and entertain the masses (and by masses I mean the 4 family members, 2 friends and thr random hobos who read my blog). Anyway, from now on, I will do my best to put up a new post every week. That's right! You can now read about historical shenanigans EVERY WEEK! Alright, now that I have you all wiggling in your chairs in excitement like this guy...

                                    "That's a BINGO!"                                         Link

   

Let's get started! Today, I will be talking about the country of North Korea, Now, we obviously have heard a lot about them in the news recently, as they have been constantly threatening South Korea, Japan, the United States, and basically anyone they think is their enemy. They've ramped this up in recent weeks, threatening nuclear war, total destruction of the United States (especially Colorado Springs ). This rash of warmongering stupidity has even angered North Koreas long time ally, China, who basically told them to quit dicking around or they'd take matters into their own hands. In essence,  the leaders in North Korea are doing a better job of running their country into the ground than Adolf Hitler did.

                                     Hitler:...Anne Frankly, I am offended."                 Link

In this post, I will explain how North Korea went from a once peaceful land to a violent dictatorship the likes of which we should not have to deal with in this modern day and age.

First, I'll go back to Korea right before the end of World War II. Japanese forces had annexed Korea in 1910, taking the region by force. This brought much pain and suffering to the Korean people, as the Japanese believed themselves racially superior (this is something some Koreans hold a grudge for to this very day). As the war drew to a close, the two superpowers, the Soviet Union and the United States, couldn't come to an agreement on how Korea should be governed, so it split it into two halves, the Soviet occupied north and the American occupied south. While both superpowers left the region, they nurtured governments that were sympathetic to their political ideologies, with North Korea becoming staunch Communists and South Korea becoming democratic.  So was born the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK), which is a very misleading name, as there is nothing at all democratic about the country.

The man who would become known as the "Eternal President of the Republic" was a man named Kim Il Sung. He was a rebel who fought the Japanese forces and evnetually forced himself into exile prior to World War II. After the war had ended, Sung returned, and was given the position of being head of the Provisional Peoples Committee. While not as powerful as the Soviet party was, it still held power. A few years later, Sungs party merged with the Soviet party, forming one large government body with Kim as prime minister.

In 1950, Kim Il Sung decided to make his move. He chose to invade South Korea and bring unification by force. Soviet intelligence believed he would have little issues, as they believed the United States would not intervene.  This was a major miscalculation on their part.

                                                 You Dun Goofed                                     Link

The North Korean military was supplied with soviet weapons and vehicles, but no soldiers from either China or other Soviet territories, as they did not wish to risk the threat of nuclear war. The North Korean military quickly pushed downward, capturing the South Korean capital of Seoul and almost taking the entire region, except for a small area called the Pusan Perimeter. This small region held out, allowing U.S. troops to lead a counter attacking pushing the North Koreans back, out of South Korea and towards China. This counter attack involved troops from the U.N., South Korea and the U.S. This reversal of fortune would not go on long, however, as the Chinese, who border North Korea, saw the loss of North Korea to the U.S. as a threat and sent in tens of thousands of troops to support North Korea. In the end, the 3 year long war would kill over 1.2 million people, and basically do nothing more then mark an "armistice line" between North and South Korea (a line that was basically in the same place as it was before the war). While both Chinese and U.N. forces backed off, neither Korea really called an end to the war, which has been brought up over and over again by the North as a sort of threat to restart the conflict. Using terror and violence, as well as propaganda against the United States (such as telling people that the United States intentionally spread diseases to the Koreans), Kim Il Sung managed to secure power for himself and go from Prime Minister to President, giving him total power over the region. During the later years of his reign, Sung moved a majority of his economy towards building North Korea's military and armaments, while the agriculture slowly wilted and people starved. On July 8, 1994, Sung died of a heart attack. There was a national mourning period, where he was hailed as a hero and father of the people and all that fancy political mumbo jumbo. In the 30 years he held supreme power, Sung had built a legend around himself and used it to use the people of North Korea as his servants.

                      Way to go, you smug faced jackhole                     Link

Next up for leadership of North Korea was Kim Jong Il, who we mostly know for continuing North Korea's downward spiral into madness.

                                                   Come on guys, he's just a ritter ronery!        Video (Warning: Language)                   Link 

Kim Jong Il came to power after his fathers death in 1994 though it took over three years to secure his power base. He spread the idea of being almost god-like, his birth being "foretold by a swallow, a double rainbow and a new star in the sky". Yeah, this guy was cracked. As his father was called the "Great Leader" before him, Jong Il went by the "Dear Leader". He built around him a cult of personality that many could not help but get swept up in. He consolidated his power even more than his father had, seeing the slightest disagreement from his advisers as disobedience and treachery, At the same time, North Korea's economy was going down the toilet. Due to flooding and other issues, North Korea had only 18% land that could be used for farming. This hurt the already stagnated economy and brought about starvation of the population. John Il also held hundreds of thousands of people in concentration camps as enemies of the state and political prisoners. This has drawn much criticism from groups such as the U.N. (though they have yet to act upon it).

Jong Il was known for his love of movies (of which he had over 20,00) as well as basketball. He lived an extravagant lifestyle (for instance, he would have fresh lobsters airlifted to his armored train before departing on trips). This clashes heavily with the lives of his people, many of whom are starving. On December 17, 2011, Kim Jong Il reportedly died of a heart attack on his armored train. His death seemed pretty normal, but according to North Korean propaganda, when he died "a fierce snowstorm paused and the sky glowed red above the sacred Mount Paektu. The ice on a famous lake also cracked so loud, it seemed to shake the Heavens and the Earth." I think South Korea dealt with it a little differently...

                                                 Deal With It                                              Link

We now arrive at the current leader, Kim Jong Un, who has followed quite well in his fathers footsteps of warmongering and violating human rights. At first it was though that as someone who had seen different parts of the world (Jong Un studied abroad in Europe), he might be better then his father. As it turns out, he isn't. Or else, he is, and the military of North Korea is totally ignoring him and just going crazy. Either way, the threats that used to come a few times a year have ramped up to multiple per week, as well as moving missiles about. Many people are frightened of the possibility of war with North Korea, or from a missile attack from them, but as their past missile launches have shown, they aren't very good at it.

              "Call ACME Immediately! This is UNACCEPTABLE!"                  Link

  While many people worry about the possibilities of a war with North Korea, many South Koreans say its just another day. They have dealt with this craziness for over 60 years and this, to them, is just another crazed attempt to get attention and aid. Most don't even treat it as a true news worthy event.

                                      "Just another Sunday over here!"                       Link

So that, in a tiny nutshell, is the history of the Kim family and its handiwork of turning North Korea into what adds up to a real life version of Fallout, without nuclear radiation (for the time being). Hopefully the situation there can be dealt with in a peaceful manner, possibly even in a manner that helps the common people get food, water, and all the other things they need. Only time will tell, however, so now all we can do is sit back and watch it unfold.

Until next time!